I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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