Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
