i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
