When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
