East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
