Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am naked and annoyed.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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