Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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