if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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