I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
