i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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