Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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