I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
