The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
