Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
