Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
