I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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