So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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