I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My dick has a subreddit
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
