we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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