But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize