1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I seem to have left my pride at pride
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
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