she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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