Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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