Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize