On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
