And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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