You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
