Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
