It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
