i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
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bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
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Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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