it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
