Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
