Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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