sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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