FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
