i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize