C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize