Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
