fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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