I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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