i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
