dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
