I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
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I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's never too late to be topless.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
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The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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