small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
