Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wish you could order shots online.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
