just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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