If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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