why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
