I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Randomize
