well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
