I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
