Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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