Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize