Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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