Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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