They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
