Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
