smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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