Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
