Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
