If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
