did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
