Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
