we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
