If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize