Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you win again, gameday.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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