playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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