Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There r osticjed everywhere
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
