Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
