Don't you send me to vm
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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