i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
